Jun 4, 2013

Comic Book Movies Week: Cosmo Cube

This week is Comic Book Movies Week here at the Cube, where we name our favorite movies based on comic book properties.   Today, it's Kimberly's turn!

Note: I've decided for the purposes of this week to have the titles lead to their Amazon pages. So if you're interested in buying a movie, just click on their respective titles. -Duy

Favorite Comic Book Movies
Kimberly Smith

So, I was asked by the guy that runs this site to write about my favorite comic book movies. Now I figured everyone would write about the same ones. You don’t want to read the same thing over and over again right? Yes, we all know, Avengers and The Crow are beyond awesome…

So I decided to take a different approach. Some movies are so bad, they are good. Some movies are purposely bad, they are good. Some movies are purposely bad and are so bad at being bad they are good. And I love them. Entertainment at its finest.

So my favorite comic book movies, in no particular order, are as follows.




SUPERGIRL (1984)



This is the perfect cliché superhero movie. The villain lives in an amusement park, Supergirl just so happens to come to earth and meet her cousin’s, girlfriend’s, sister, and Supergirl’s clothes are instantly clean after she was pulled out of the green slime pool. This movie made my brain hurt. How did she know who Superman was…How did she know who Clark Kent was… How do her clothes change like that…. How can that guy walk through the streets with hundreds of people and still see Supergirl first and fall in love with her… It was one head scratcher after another. I was very amused.

My favorite things about this movie:
  • Supergirl flies Ethan through a ceiling which knocks him out and she smiles.
  • Lois Lane, Lucy Lane, Linda Lee.
  • Zaltar sentenced himself to the Phantom Zone.


HOWARD THE DUCK (1986)




All I can say is; a duck playing a guitar and “No one laughs at a master of Quack-Fu!”

How did this movie get universally negative reviews? What is wrong with humanity!?! One review said it was generally seen as being unconvincing. What!?! How can a humanoid duck from another dimension, coming to earth via a lab experiment gone wrong and fighting a dark overlord be unconvincing? I was convinced.

And finally let me just say, “Playduck Magazine.”



BATMAN AND ROBIN (1997)


I don’t really know where to start. The shiny costumes…the silver masks…the illuminated blue hubcaps…the pulsing chassis lights… the one-liners! It’s just too much awesome all in one movie!

Mr Freeze was a genius! He created flexible icicles! They were everywhere! Plus he froze Robin but not the diamond in his hand AND he froze all those people but their blood didn’t crystallize. Genius!

My favorite one-liners:
  • Freeze in hell, Batman
  • Stay cool, Birdboy
  • I’m putting you on ice
  • Curses!
  • Hey, Freeze, the heat is on
  • I’ll kill you next time
  • Tonight, hell freezes over
  • So many people to kill, so little time

My favorite things about the movie:
  • I know exactly where their nipples are thanks to the very detailed design of their suits.
  • The large, silver bat and bird cups…. Yes, they have penises.



BATMAN (1966)

 
There is no way for me to properly express how awesome I think this movie is.

  • The bat chopper has shark repellant.
  • The Joker wouldn’t shave his mustache.
  • Batman running around, desperately trying to dispose of a large bomb…the nuns…the baby stroller…the ducks…Oh the awesomeness!
  • “Some days you just can’t get rid of a bomb.”
  • I bet the Batman of today would blow up the ducks.

Commissioner Gordon: It could be any one of them... But which one? Which ones?
Batman: Pretty ‘fishy’ what happened to me on that ladder...
Commissioner Gordon: You mean where there's a fish there could be a Penguin?
Robin: But wait! It happened at sea... Sea. C for Catwoman!
Batman: Yet, an exploding shark ‘was’ pulling my leg...
Commissioner Gordon: The Joker!
Chief O'Hara: All adds up to a sinister riddle... Riddle-R. Riddler!
Commissioner Gordon: A thought strikes me... So dreadful I scarcely dare give it utterance...
Batman: The four of them... Their forces combined...
Robin: Holy nightmare!


HOLY ROBIN QUOTES!!!
  • Holy Houdini
  • Holy bikini
  • Holy Long John Silver
  • Holy Heart failure
  • Holy nightmare
  • Holy costumed party
  • Holy horseshoe
  • Holy Polaris
  • Holy sardine
  • Holy jumble
  • Holy marathon
  • Holy Halloween


And there you have it. The top 4 best(ish) comic book movies ever(ish). If you haven’t seen them, do it now. And if you actually like them, you may also be interested in the live action Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies, the 90s never-released Fantastic Four movie, Green Lantern, and the 80’s Hulk, made for TV movies. And, if you don’t like them, I say pfft!…..and stick with The Avengers and The Crow, since they are actually the best two comic book movies ever made.

1 comment:

Ella lily said...

My personal favorite way to wear that Catwoman costume, and the most traditional, is the sexy black jumpsuit. http://thegothamarchives.com/suicide-squad-comic-review/suicide-squad-kicked-teeth-review/

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