Spider-Man and Black Widow
by Kimberly Smith
Welcome to the first ever Cosmo Cube, a little corner of the Cube dedicated to the "good" the "bad" and the "holy hell, what's that" of superhero fashion. I'll review some costumes of your favorite superheroes. Now you might not agree with my assessment, but I'm sure you've been wrong before so it won't be anything new to you.
Up this week: Spider-Man and Black Widow.
First up, the web-slinger, Spider-Man, the teenage nerd who was bitten by a radioactive spider and took on great power and responsibility.
My "Holy Hell, What's That" for Spider-Man is his "spider armor." Not only did it impair his abilities but it was very...silver. Artistically it just isn't pleasing to the eye. Spider-Man should be sleek and agile. Not big and clunky. Luckily, for us, it was very short lived. Can I get a shout-out to Thermite!?! (Yikes)
Next up, the stealth suit. OK, I get it, red, blue and green lights give him special stealth abilities. However, he looks like a lightning bug. Especially the feet. I see this costume and think of a neon sign that says, "Eat at Joe's." (Bad)
Next, the clone saga costume—The Scarlet Spider. Now you might be thinking, "Wait, this isn't Peter Parker." Well, he thought he was and he was an exact replica, right? And it's my article, so he counts. Yes he's wearing a '90s torn grunge shirt over a red onesie but aside from that...why are his eyes so big? He looks like he has a butterfly on his face. And now, back to that shirt. That's not a costume. That's "laundry day." (Bad)
And next up, we have the black and white Fantastic Four costume. Awwwwww, isn't that cute? They match. The storm Troopers keep calling. They want their underclothes back. (Bad)
Next! The amazing Bag Man. It's a Fantastic Four costume with a paper bag. Clever. No really, a paper bag. Ha! Costume wise, of course not. But storywise, gold. But how did that bag not blow off while he was swinging around? (Ha!)
Up next. The Sensational Spider-Man. Oh, not Peter Parker you say? ^^Read three up.^^ This costume is a lot like the original. I like the spider on the chest. It gives a "new generation" look to it. However, the silver bracelets are distracting and the blue is a little too...blue. I'm OK with the half and half boot colors but why, oh why does he have different colored fingers? (OK)
We're down to the top 3. Coming in at number 3 is the black suit. An alien symbiote that feeds off its host. Now, if you look past the fact that it's a parasite, artistically, it's pretty nice. And, it increased his abilities. Felicia's copy of the symbiote costume was sleek and the black is good for stealth. (Good)
Coming it at number 2, The Iron Spider—Tony Stark's spider armor. Now this is what spider armor should look like. It's sleek and has 3 giant arms coming out of the back. It looks like Iron Man and Spider-Man procreated. There isn't anything about this costume I don't like. The only reason it comes in at number 2 is the nostalgia factor. (Great)
Speaking of nostalgia, Spider-Man's best costume is of course the old blue and red. You just can't improve on perfection. It's sleek, it has great detail, it's not overdone and it's the right shade of blue.
The Black Widow, Natasha Romanova. She's beautiful, smart, and a master spy. However, her costume choices were not always as beautiful.
"Holy Hell, What's That?" Well I'm not quite sure myself. She looks like a Batman groupie. I can almost get past the full body fishnet onesie and bathing suit, but the cape and mask....no. This also gets my vote for worst hair. While I'm sure it was very stylish for the times, the Black Widow's hair is red. No exceptions. (Yikes)
Next we have a grey jumpsuit. It's very simple and "booooooring." It appears to me that they were trying to make her more masculine. Well, mission accomplished. However, it's not sexy and Black Widow should be sexy. The spider on the back screams "Spider-Man knockoff." Also note that she has a spider symbol on her left boob. Not on her lapel, but on her boob. Her hair is too short and the collar emphasizes it. (Bad)
Up next, another grey jumpsuit. This is a variation of the last one. It still has that high collar and plain grey color but now it has a high belt with pouches, and a jacket. Yes, yet another hero to fall victim to the pouches and jacket fad. These additions did not improve the ensemble. However, her hair was much better than before. (Bad)
It's amazing how an outfit can be so similar yet so different. Up next, we have a black jumpsuit. It's still plain and it still has a high collar, but it's so much better. The collar doesn't stick out. It's close in to the neck. And, the belt is simple and elegant. Plus, it's lower on the hips. Sleek, stealthy, and sexy. (Good)
Coming in at number 2 is...another black jumpsuit. Hey, stick with what works. The Black Widow costume in the movies works perfectly for live action. It's realistic, simple, and sexy. I find it interesting that it has both a high belt and a low belt with pouches and it works! This costume brings a realistic look to a fictional character. I would so let her beat me up. The only reason it's not first is, I don't think it would be as good in the comics. (Great)
Last, but not least...yet another black jump suit. She's a super spy. The black jumpsuit is and should always be "her thing." It's very simple and the gold wrist bands and belt gives it just the right accents. It's perfect for the comics but probably not for the movies. And really, let's admit it. Who doesn't love cleavage? (Boobtastic)
This Week's Best and Worst Dressed
This week’s “BLAH” costume: Cap has a chinstrap. What is with the chinstraps lately? It didn’t look good on the Flash either. Please don’t let the chinstrap be the 90’s jackets.
This week’s best dressed is Rocket Raccoon. Normally I’m not a fan of pouches. But, a raccoon with a gun can wear anything he wants.
That’s it. My assessment. Until next time... The panties go under the pants.